I like you my friend, but I don’t like that. But not thinking enough definitely will, and when you don’t tell women to keep a clearer mind you’re not helping them at all Matthew, because you’re letting them fall for someone before truly understanding who they are. Now I don’t disagree that overthinking can get in anyone’s way. While the one being more deliberate is left in the dust, spinning her wheels. Your advice around this particular topic is to “go with the flow.” I know, because I’ve watched your videos, read a lot of the posts you publish, and even read the book you and your brother Stephen wrote, Get The Guy! If fact, the lengthy soundbite you send out to draw clients into your programs compares two women, each using different tactics in their dating lives, and points to the one who isn’t thinking about her actions before doing them as the one who gets a relationship. How long does that take, in your opinion, Matthew? That’s the amount of time you should be telling your women to wait to share that first kiss. Long enough to not only see if he’s telling the truth about the big or small things he says, but to also understand if his interest in me is shallow and fleeting, or deeply rooted in who I am and the great qualities I possess. WATCH: WHY MY BOOK NO MORE ASSHOLES HELPS YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT PARTNER ONCE AND FOR ALL Long enough to compare what he says with what he does, and long enough to see whether or not he’s consistent in his behaviours. Long enough to understand whether or not the words coming out of his mouth are jiving with reality. Know what he looks like when he shaves, know how his day went when I ask, and know what his game face is when he’s having a rough one and rolls his eyes when I say, “How’s it going?” I also don’t just mean know his answers when I ask “What do you do? Are you single? What area of town do you live in? Do you have kids?” I mean know him long enough to feel like the truth has come out. I can know the checkout guy at the grocery store, easy peasy. Don’t you agree with this? If your answer is yes, then the next logical question (remember, life begins when you ask the right question!) is, how long does it take to know someone? I don’t just mean know them on a superficial level. Which means, women shouldn’t kiss someone they don’t know. Women shouldn’t commit to someone they don’t know, and women tend to commit with a kiss.
WATCH: WHAT WILL NOT KISSING FOR 3 MONTHS MAKE YOU LOSE? I’m hoping somewhere along the line you’re dispensing it though because, Matthew, it needs to be said. Or it could be that you’re tucking that little tidbit of information deep in your back pocket, waiting to release it during your retreats or private coaching sessions. But the information about the chemicals released in a kiss is a little more obscure, and takes some digging to uproot. We both study humanity like crazy, devouring studies behind attraction, body language, and what happens in our thought processes during the dating dance like a thirsty castaway drinks water after a downpour. It could be you don’t know the science yet, and I’d understand that.
In this one spot, you can help women better weed out the bullshit and find Mr. It’s in this one area, during the most important time-frame in the early dating period, that I can’t help but feel like you’re looking out more for Guysthan the women who come to you for solid advice. But Matthew, there’s one tidbit of advice where I feel you’re really failing women. Yes, communicate with a touch every time he makes you laugh, feel appreciative, or simply warm and fuzzy inside.
Yes, speak your mind, your emotions, your truths, and especially your opinions.